The Devil's Among Us Part 1

 This is part one of I believe what will be four parts....

This story that had its beginnings over fifty years ago. The ending is unknown. Where does real end and the other side start?

Fall/Winter 1970x - I was about 20 something years old and wild, living in the mountains in the western United States. My summertime life consisted of fishing and weekend parties, usually with over fifty hours of work per week thrown in to provide work/life balance. In winter my life was not much different, simply replace skiing with fishing. I usually had one day off a week - Sunday. I worked the afternoon shift and sometimes Sunday mornings when I was called in to fill in.

It was a warm, dark, after work, fall evening, and my friends and I decided to go to sit in a hot springs south of town, soak in the hot water and drink beer – mainly drink beer. Somewhere along the line, between getting off of work and the hot springs, a couple of young Women decided they wanted to join us. I did not know either of them, and I wasn’t the one who invited them.

Sitting in the In the hot springs, drinking my share of beer, one of the women took a liking to me, though I have no clue why. I was not looking for a girlfriend, and made no sign I was. She had different ideas about my situation.

Her name was Keri. Keri had recently moved to town. She was pretty, pleasant, easy going; a very likable (I thought) young woman. She also wasn’t shy….

I came to find out over the next weeks, Keri’s life was a lot quieter than mine. I was curious how she fell into our group that night, and why she picked me. I never learned the answer to either question. I also learned that late night partying was not her normal life style.

I found I really enjoyed Keri’s company. On the down side we hardly saw each other. There were our night and day lifestyle differences, though I thought we would be a really good fit, almost perfect – if I was looking for a serious relationship, instead of looking for parties, which I was not.

We got along wonderfully when we were together, which was unfortunately rare. Keri worked days, I worked afternoons. We had different days off. Keri, I thought wanted a more normal (sober boyfriend), sane life. Keri did not drink, which limited any additional extra time we may have had together partying. Keri was Mormon, I was an angry wild child in an adult body.

We saw each other on and off for about six months on those rare days we both had time off on the same day. Come spring, Keri decided it was time to go back home. All work, and no real fun was no life for her. And I was the (almost) never present boyfriend in her life. She missed her friends and her social life. We spent her last day in town together. It was one of the best days of my life, though I did not appreciate it how good it was in the moment. I now occasionally wish the day could have gone on for a week or more. If only we could step back the calendar and start over. But, it wasn't meant to be.

I thought of Keri now and then over the years. Wondering how she was doing, and how her life was going compared to what it would have been with me. I imagined her happily married with kids running around. I know she would be a good Friend, Wife, and Mother. She had that kind of personality. Whenever I thought of her, I wished her the best wherever she was, and whatever she was doing.

Just One More

 

Pic: Doss on top of the Maeda Escarpment, May 4, 1945

I have spent a portion of my adult life, volunteering and generally trying to improve the lives of those less fortunate than myself. Some of my time has been very rewarding, and a little of it a waste of my life.

I had a slight downside though. One June 29 202X, on a Thursday, I woke up feeling like someone pounded my hips and shoulders with a sledge hammer. The pain became so bad, I resorted to CBD Cream, which was a literal lifesaver. I never wish that much pain on anyone. It took almost five months before I felt relatively pain free. Turns out it was a reaction to a common medication.

During those days of pain, and today, as I reflect on my day and pray before sleep, I stole a a line from Desmond Doss: "Just one more." Desmond Doss was awarded the Medal Of Honor for Bravery. He did not carry a weapon, Desmond Doss was a medic in World War II. You can read about Desmond Doss here, or if you can find it, watch the movie, Hacksaw Ridge.

Not that I will ever be on the the same level as Desmond Doss, though many nights I go to sleep thinking there must be something good I can do for another person. I find many things are easy to do. Smile and say hello, Hold the door open for someone, pick up some trash on the ground and put it in a waste can, by toys from the second hand store and leave it on a kid's doorstep whose family's money has bigger priorities. 

I leave bags of food and such in front of the local church where people more needy than myself walk by. I put a not inside, urging them to spend a few minutes with a quiet mind and listen for the voice of God to speak to them. It takes some time to do this, because it takes time to learn how to quiet our mind. What you hear (for me at least) is the impression of a word or two, not a sentence. I hope they do better.

I hope all these little things add up, and I manage to make someone's day better. Telling a young Mom, she is Mother of the month because she takes time for her child no matter where she is at. Thank a Vet for his service, acknowledging the importance of his/her contribution.  The idea of making someones day a little better, because someone helped them, acknowledged them, or fed them for a few days may encourage them to pass it on, and think, "Just one more"...

Safe Pain Relief Post Statin's

 I am not a Doctor, and this is not medical advice. It is a story about myself and severe head to toe pain. It ends with how I found resolution. Perhaps if you are one of the many older adults experiencing muscle and joint pain you write off to being, "old", this may lead you to search for new ideas and less pain.

For me, it started more than a decade ago with a family of medicines generally known as Statins. There were four different Statins that I was aware of. This may have changed by now. The first Statin I was prescribed made me almost immediately sick with an upset stomach and cramping.

I was given a second Statin. This second Statin lasted two days before the same ending took place. Ditto for the third. The final Statin had a lifespan in my body of over a decade. The supplement COQ10 was also suggested for muscle and joint pain relief from Statins, which at the time I did not seem have, but I took it as a precaution. 

Everything was good until it was not. My newest Doctor did not like the COQ10 formula and another supplement I was taking recommended years earlier by a former doctor, and I was sent to a supplement specialist Doctor.

This Doctor pointed out two of the supplements I was taking were unhealthy for me and other many people in general. They specifically said the COQ10 I was taking had Vitamin e as its carrier oil. COQ10 is absorbed better with fat at the time of taking. Vitamin e, is now thought not to be so healthy for people with a good diet.

I found the brand of COQ10 they suggested. It had no oil, and the recommended dose was 100 milligrams a day. After the first bottle ran out, I quit as it seemed to be doing nothing. Life went on as normal for a year or so until I woke in severe, (months long) muscle and joint pain.

It took two months of Doctors research and opinion, for a determination to be made: I am allergic to Statins and can no longer take them. Within a few weeks, I had less pain. That was not little enough pain to be excited about, but I thought I could live with it. As time went by, the pain continued, and my hands started hurting, both joint and muscle.

It was getting difficult to make a fist, as I noticed my hands swelling for no reason. Every day all major muscles in my body felt as if I had done a serious whole body work out the day before. Everything hurt, and no matter the day, the feeling was the same.

I needed and wanted pain relief. I thought about my time with Statins long and hard and my prior Doctor who had suggested I take COQ10 which didn't seem to do much of anything. I decided to start reading again about COQ10 as years had now passed and knowledge grows. 

I now read COQ10 is an antioxidant. It is made by almost every cell in our body. However some people )as we age) need more than our bodies produce. A safe dose is thought to be up to 1200 mg daily per my reading (not fact). That was a lot higher than the 100 mg a day I was taking.

I went out and found a bottle of COQ10 that had no vitamin e (also called wheat oil). The first day I took 800 mgs. The next day I woke up and some muscles did not hurt as bad. Rinse and repeat. The pain was going away, and my muscles now feel like they are waking from a long sleep. In the moment 800 mgs of COQ10 is working for me.

Whether my pain is from so many years of Statins wreaking havoc on my body, or another unknown cause (age?), COQ10 seems to be the magic bullet for pain reduction and relief. All my pain has diminished to very minor with more improvement every day.

I don't know where the line is drawn for pain reduction, but such a common supplement is doing wonders for me.

The Hippie Movement Meant to Make the World a Better Place

As I grow older, it I notice subtle signs we have made some progress towards making society better for all people. It's also apparent that making the society we want to have is not going to happen.

The Hippie movement of the Sixties was the last major movement to remake society into something better. The Hippie movement had a lifespan of about ten years more or less before it collapsed onto itself with the help of both internal and external forces.

As with other attempts at improving the world, the Communes of the Hippies became uncontrollable when the commune population went past a hundred or so people.

Until recently I would wonder why people in my neighborhood/city/state/country are not respectful of others once they leave their immediate neighborhoods. 

Now I know it is Human nature. I used to be angry about, but now I reflect on religion. God before Jesus could not make people good citizens. Jesus has had a better impact, but progress is at a trickle, and subject to backsliding on a whim.

I believe the best we can hope for is for each of us to do our best, be our best, and hopefully leave the world better than we found it. 

Little Things We Take For Granted - Like Grief and Selfishness

 

I turn my phone's ringer off at night. I figure if anyone calls me early, it's not going to be good news, and there is little I can do about any bad news except listen.

Today was one of those bad news days. There was a missed call from a neighbor. I called back and there was no answer. They called back an hour or so later, and told me another neighbor, who is my closest neighbor as a friend was taken away by ambulance this morning. It was their understanding from what they heard and thought they saw, that my friend/neighbor passed.

Can you say, sledge hammer? That's how it felt. I knew this neighbors health was not the greatest, they were having some serious issues, but I spoke with them two nights earlier and they looked healthier than they had in a long while.

My first thought was what do I do? What in 2026 do we do when we get news like this? I went outside, and the neighbor in question's house had the front room curtains closed, no lights on, and their car in the driveway.

As I went over possibilities. This is what I decided. My neighbor really did pass because the house is closed up, and no one is home. The widowed spouse has family in town, so the spouse is with family somewhere in town, in mourning. I have no idea what to do....

By late afternoon, I decided sending a text message to my friend was the best I could do an unobtrusive way to get involved. 

I worded it as carefully as I could in the moment. ...I heard there was an ambulance at your house this morning. That is not good news. If you need anything, a ride, help with your flowers, your pets, or a ride, please let me know....I did not expect a quick answer.

Within a few minutes, I received a text reply from my friend/neighbor telling me they were okay. They had a problem recurrence and decided the best thing to do was an ambulance ride to the hospital. They were released in the afternoon, and are at home on bed rest.

How do you spell relief? I spell it with that reply text!

At my age, and a male, real friends are few and far between. I always felt honored by having this person so close to me in the neighborhood. We trade comments on cats and other animals, and talk about those things only old people find interesting.

Before the reply text, I was worried about the spouse, the probable future sale of their house, and how to pay proper respect to my friend and his spouse in the passing.

I also selfishly felt sad for myself. One less friend to share minor parts of my life with. It was feeling like a gap that was only going to get wider had happened. Another one bites the dust...

Going forward, I know now, our time is limited. But even though the conversations won't change, I believe we both will have them with a little more after thought reverence, if you know what I mean. We have both lived long enough that tomorrow is no guarantee.

It is so odd, years ago, there was no doubt how things were done in this and other serious situations. Today, it is not as clear what to do and how to do it.

Boomer Really Looks at Gen Z, and Likes What He Sees

Inter-generational friction for me started with the Millennial's.  Lately it was focused on Gen Z. I am a Boomer. We Boomers dropped in and did not tune out. We Boomers were the generation that shut down 'the' [Vietnam] War. We figured out the Communist Domino Theory was a lie, much to the fear and consternation of our elders.

We Boomers fixed Racial Inequality. We demonstrated so Women and Minorities had Equal Rights. We had the first oil crisis, Bay of Pigs, and Nukes. We had, "the pill" and we knew how to use it. We burned the Bra.

We didn't sit down, and we didn't shut up. We questioned authority. We broke many of the 'older' generation's taboos. We had the first female Rock Star, first female serial Bank Robber. We invented and ingested LSD, imported Cocaine and used a lot of it. We had a lot of firsts. Some good, many not so much.

We were taught that once you hit the age of eighteen, you found a job, and started planning on how soon you could move out of the house. Preferably within a few months. We were: a free love dove generation, ingesting mass quantities of liquor and drugs - as we learned to from our parents. We were loyal, working dead end jobs for crap pay. That's what we were taught to do. Unlearning was mostly unheard of.

We married and had kids, God help them. In my forties, I started to expand my world view, which was slipping in through the cracks and slats of my awareness. I saw subtle and not so subtle hints that we, the Boomers, did not really do all that much to change the world for the better. We could and should have done a lot more.

Now, past sixty, it is obvious that as a generation, we were very naive as to what we could and could not accomplish. We put out some small fires and solved a few issues (got rid of the [military] draft, for one) but the paranoid out of touch, scared, decrepit political engine kept stirring the pot ensuring old fires started up again and other fires grew larger.

All in all I am disappointed with what we did accomplish verses what I thought we accomplished. I had blinders on, it was difficult to see our countries general reality. That is not to say, we were worthless. We did make many changes, and I am proud of those changes. But my world was not really all that rosy as you will read later.

Our Kids, what the heck? Only interested in money, little public opinion, distant, indifferent to government. Distant to the extent that their kids (Gen Z) were mostly self raised. Keep Tommy and Kathy busy. Throw more money at them. Don't bother spending actual time with them. Let them learn independence by growing up mostly alone and distant. Throw more electronics at them so parents could be even more distant and aloof.

Which brings me to Gen Z. What a wreck Gen Z is, lazy, unmotivated, happy living in the basement, socially crippled. Or so it seems, reading the stories published from far right side of Boomer Mountain. Old scared, paranoid people who make it sound like the world is going to hell in a hand basket (the one they created and nurture of course).

I let go of public Gen Z commentary, and my myopic sliver of it. Just like us Boomers, I find most of Gen Z has ambition. Lots of ambition. They want to and do work. Most of them are working as hard as we Boomers did. 

Gen Z is not blind and overly loyal to foolish, outdated, common ideals. Comments that are repeated like gospel are, Gen Z is lazy and living in their parents basement. Some of us Boomers walked out on their pregnant girlfriends and after the babies were born, other Boomers moved in with them and leached off of them, living on the States dime (welfare), slinking away and hiding during home inspections. No beer for you!

We Boomers wasted our money on frivolous things. Boomers spent money on sex, drugs and rock and roll and muscle cars. Some Boomer's of course were taught to be greedy and/or racist. Many Boomers were blue collar, economically ignorant, and indifferent to their plight. That's how it always is...

Now with opened eyes, having moved down the hill from Boomer Mountain, I have made comparisons of our respective generations. One thing is clear, Gen Z is not willing to work itself to death for starvation wages. A job is only a job, and life balance is more important. Gen Z also learns from the Internet, as needed.

Gen Z is willing to put off some personal gratification/satisfaction until a later date, and most importantly, it appears Gen Z is not generally in favor of drinking and drugs. Finally, unlike the parents of us Boomers and our kids, children are precious and not something you have just because you got married at a stupid young age, made nuclear family, and spent the next decades regretting it.

I can hardly wait until Gen Z starts flexing its political muscle. I am curious what changes they will set in place once the old paranoid, scared people making today's polarizing policies are out of the picture.

Why We Diet, Exercise, Learn, and Try

 

I was thinking this morning about all that 'formal' exercise I have done all my life, and why I did all that exercise. That led me to think about the lifestyle changes I made in my twenties and thirties, as I realized as I went along each day, what I was doing was not that healthy. 

- - It is hard to break away from the pack. Everyone wants you to be like they are. People are resistant to change. Especially when they watch someone else change and they do not want to.

I thought about who I did all that exercise for. It was not for me in the moment, as I was doing the exercise without any real kind of work. I mean I strained and sweated, and occasionally had some sore muscles, but it was not the back breaking work that some people were doing just to survive another day.

I am free rolling now. Why have I been so curious all my life? Why did I take college courses? Why am I fascinated by body, health and lifestyle discoveries that show up in books, magazines and web pages? Why do I read really boring articles in some really boring magazines?

What is the purpose of all this? Why do I do it? No one I know wants to hear about it. There was nothing to be gained from climbing out of bed in my thirties and doing my little exercise routine and then going jogging. I did those things every other day, and I did not improve my exercise and running skills. But I never really thought about why I did those things.

Until this morning that is. It is a few minutes after seven and the sun is shining. I fell asleep sometime after two last night, and I woke up a little after five. I'll probably take a nap again today. Such is the life of old.

But I also did some other things. In these early hours, I have done some interesting reading, worked on some puzzles, and had something to eat. Later on I will do my little 2023 exercise routine, which is vastly different from my 1980, 1990, 2000, and my 2010 exercise routines.

I am a firm believer in the phrase, "Use it or lose it". It was not until this morning however that complete understanding of this little phrase made it into my conscious mind.

Everything diet, exercise and health related I have done in my life was not for me in the moment. Not even for me in the next week or the next month. All the goofy things I tried to improve myself with, all the diet information I read, tried and sometimes failed at, all the other things were not for me in the moment. 

I realize this morning, I did all those thing for me right now in 2023. More importantly they were for my future me. I grew up watching family members and other adults drink and smoke themselves into an early grave. I watched as people decide they are 'old' because they are 40, 50, 60, or seventy. I made decision after decision I was not going to be one of those people. 

I spent the early years of my life doing these things because I wanted a full, happy, and productive life. Today I know it was not for me then, but for a future me. I am not through yet, there is a lot more future me to come.

There is more future me out there waiting to be realized. And because I am old, I see the sad results others have made of not taking care of themselves for their future selves. We all have some limitations in our life, health and otherwise. Until we die, we have a future.

It is our obligation to minimize our limitations and maximize ourselves, because we must be ready to become our future selves. I notice in the moment, thinking about what version I want for my future self, is exhilarating. I am motivated to do those things I can do today for the benefit of my future self tomorrow. How about you?