The Devil Among us Part 3

 

March 2026

Keri is here again. In the moment, I do not know why. I am leaning towards this is my imagination, as there is no other logical reason. My Doctor tells me my health is good. Perhaps my brain isn’t?

Keri was in my dream last night. She tells me she wants to be with me. She wants to stay with me until I pass.

I am dumbfounded, I have heard of this before, but it is always single people who live alone who have ghosts move in with them, usually a spouse that has passed on.

A few days later – Keri is in my waking life now, hovering by me like a small, soft cloud. I have had some time to think about this situation, and it seems we can communicate. I can ask questions, and she responds with thoughts that form ideas or words.

I explain to Keri, I am happily married, and I do not know how to manage her as part of my life. I ask her why she wants to be with me, instead of moving on to where we all go when we pass (1), and start working on our life mistakes, and decide how we will do things better in our next life. I tell Keri, I will certainly be with her when I pass, as she told me - so what is the rush, and the need to be with me now?

A few more days later – It has been a mostly sleepless few days. I am very tired. My sleep is interrupted by conversation. On the bright side, I now understand….

Keri tells me her life was anything but great. after the first few years her marriage was loveless. Divorce for Keri was not an option for many reasons. This created a family schism, and drove her away from her family, and eventually from her children. She could not fake it, her life had been lonely and silent.

Keri wanted to be with me in the present, so she could have a semblance of a happy life, such as circumstances permitted. I told Keri, the man she knew over fifty years ago is long gone. In his place is a tired, old man. A tired old man who is also happily married, and deeply committed.

Keri also told me, she did not pass over, but placed herself in what we call, “Limbo” (2). Her religion and current beliefs do not allow for reincarnation, and she does not want to pass on feeling like her life was wasted.

I explained to Keri, that before we enter into this life, we have a pre-planned life script we create containing objectives and learning’s we want to accomplish. Often, the people on the other side whom we are close to agree to play a part in our life plan. Sometimes one of them is someone who helps us along and keeps us balanced. Sometimes one of our friends takes an adversarial role to help us grow. Whichever the case, our life plan is constructed for learning and growing. These are the objectives we plan our life around, learning and growing. Just because she feels her life is a wreck, does not mean, it wasn’t a life experience she needed to have for reasons not yet clear.

I explained to Keri, that when we die, and pass over, people who love us are there to greet us, and take us where we need to go. For a time, we we spend what I think of as quiet time away from everyone, to heal from the trauma and abuses our past life threw at us (not limbo). If we are experienced enough (3), we do this alone. Other times someone is there to guide us and protect us while we recover from our past life traumas.

After we are healed, we meet up with friends and family from past lives who we are close to. We join our own personal group (4) and begin to examine our past life in detail. We can do this now without emotion, because we are healthy again, and we can review our life without emotion getting in the way. We determine how well we matched up to our planned life, and if there was deviation in our life, why and how did it happen.

I explained to Keri, that before we enter into this life, we created our life script. This includes who our parents are, their personalities, economic level, etc. Also who our friends (and occasionally enemies, if we need them to learn a life lesson) will be.

Whether we live in the big city, or a poor village without electricity or running water. We find people who love us, to play these different roles for us. All to enhance our life learning. We develop the objectives and learning’s we want to have in our life. Just because Keri feels her life was a wreck, does not mean, it wasn’t a life she wanted and needed to have.

Keri tells me she will not interfere with my life or my marriage, she just wants to be around me. I tell Keri, I understand. And she needs to trust me, that her life was a sliver of all the lives she has lived and will live in our path of growing and learning.

For now, Keri is around me, but she does take time away from me, I am not sure why.

As of this moment, everything is as normal as normal can get under the circumstances. I find this very tiring, draining actually, and this bothers me. It does not feel right. One one hand I have this life, in this reality. At the same time, I am aware of Keri’s presence. Her presence feels like a small glowing ball of energy at the level of my head on my right side..

Keri is not interfering in my life per say, but this is hard to manage all the same. I do not like the feeling, and I do not care for the arrangement too much. I am hesitant to talk with her about it.

The Devil Among us Part 2

 March 2023

A few months ago, I realized Keri was on my mind - a lot. Almost like a cloud of Keri vapor, surrounding me. No matter what I was doing, thoughts of Keri would seep into my mind. Why the sudden feeling she was around me?

It wasn’t any more of that, and I wrote it off to life reflection, that older people tend to do. We wonder about those things that could have been.

 March 13, 2023

One night in a dream, Keri was present and talking to me. Keri told me she had passed on. Keri said she had a good life and family, with two kids. Then came the bomb shell.

Keri told me she would be here when it was my time to pass. She said she was waiting, and would be there to meet me. Then the dream was over. I woke up, and eventually went back to sleep. When I woke, this dream was the only thing on my mind. Keri would be here to meet me when I passed.

My thoughts about this were - all over the place. Was I going to die soon and I did not know it? Why would I have a dream like this? It was not an empty dream, it was a real meet up. It was a coherent cohesive dream, not one of those nonsense dreams. It was real. There must more to it.

I searched the net and found Keri’s obituary in a local paper in the town she was born and died in. The obit was mostly flat and lifeless, as if someone went through the motions of writing it with minimum effort (or emotion) involved. But her age fit, as did her first name, and the number of her children. Given the circumstances, it had to be her obit.

A few days later, the feeling of Keri being around me was back. Because I am a horrible cynic about anything paranormal, I made a plan. I told the Keri (presence), if this was not a dream, or a delusion on my part, and she was who she said she was, and she would be there to meet me when I passed, I wanted some type of proof it was really her. I wanted an irrefutable sign that this was not my imagination.

A couple days went by, and there was no sign it was anything but a dream, or suppressed feelings on my part. I was starting to think it was all my imagination. Three days later, I was reading local news on my computer. There was a story about the town of Keri, in Keri County, NM. It seems a small brush fire was started right outside of town, about ten to fifteen acres were burned before it went out. The article did not mention how it started, or how it went out. There was no mention of anyone on scene putting out the fire. Nor was there a cause listed.

There I was sitting wondering if this was the proof I asked for, or some wild - million to one coincidence? What are the odds of my dreams, a Town and County named, Keri making the news for such a small event, and that I would be reading about it?

It was too many coincidences for me to believe it was anything but the proof I asked for. Rather original, but difficult to refute. There were no other fires of note that month, and it was early for the summer fire season.

Older people I have spoken with, say they have had dead loved ones hanging around them at night. Some dream their dead relatives are coming to get them, I did not feel this was some ominous warning, but it didn’t seem normal either. I have enough going on in my life, and did not need to create a ghost for company.

Perhaps it is what it is, and this women who I knew for such a short time for whatever reason wants me to know that when it is my time, I won't be alone. Keri will be there to meet me. I can take peace in that thought.

Or perhaps it is entirely a coincidence? In the moment, I am really undecided, and I am guessing I won't know, until I know. In the mean time I feel comforted by the thought. You will have to decide on the ending as I won't be able to relay the ending for you...

The Devil's Among Us Part 1

 This is part one of I believe what will be four parts....

This story that had its beginnings over fifty years ago. The ending is unknown. Where does real end and the other side start?

Fall/Winter 1970x - I was about 20 something years old and wild, living in the mountains in the western United States. My summertime life consisted of fishing and weekend parties, usually with over fifty hours of work per week thrown in to provide work/life balance. In winter my life was not much different, simply replace skiing with fishing. I usually had one day off a week - Sunday. I worked the afternoon shift and sometimes Sunday mornings when I was called in to fill in.

It was a warm, dark, after work, fall evening, and my friends and I decided to go to sit in a hot springs south of town, soak in the hot water and drink beer – mainly drink beer. Somewhere along the line, between getting off of work and the hot springs, a couple of young Women decided they wanted to join us. I did not know either of them, and I wasn’t the one who invited them.

Sitting in the In the hot springs, drinking my share of beer, one of the women took a liking to me, though I have no clue why. I was not looking for a girlfriend, and made no sign I was. She had different ideas about my situation.

Her name was Keri. Keri had recently moved to town. She was pretty, pleasant, easy going; a very likable (I thought) young woman. She also wasn’t shy….

I came to find out over the next weeks, Keri’s life was a lot quieter than mine. I was curious how she fell into our group that night, and why she picked me. I never learned the answer to either question. I also learned that late night partying was not her normal life style.

I found I really enjoyed Keri’s company. On the down side we hardly saw each other. There were our night and day lifestyle differences, though I thought we would be a really good fit, almost perfect – if I was looking for a serious relationship, instead of looking for parties, which I was not.

We got along wonderfully when we were together, which was unfortunately rare. Keri worked days, I worked afternoons. We had different days off. Keri, I thought wanted a more normal (sober boyfriend), sane life. Keri did not drink, which limited any additional extra time we may have had together partying. Keri was Mormon, I was an angry wild child in an adult body.

We saw each other on and off for about six months on those rare days we both had time off on the same day. Come spring, Keri decided it was time to go back home. All work, and no real fun was no life for her. And I was the (almost) never present boyfriend in her life. She missed her friends and her social life. We spent her last day in town together. It was one of the best days of my life, though I did not appreciate it how good it was in the moment. I now occasionally wish the day could have gone on for a week or more. If only we could step back the calendar and start over. But, it wasn't meant to be.

I thought of Keri now and then over the years. Wondering how she was doing, and how her life was going compared to what it would have been with me. I imagined her happily married with kids running around. I know she would be a good Friend, Wife, and Mother. She had that kind of personality. Whenever I thought of her, I wished her the best wherever she was, and whatever she was doing.

Just One More

 

Pic: Doss on top of the Maeda Escarpment, May 4, 1945

I have spent a portion of my adult life, volunteering and generally trying to improve the lives of those less fortunate than myself. Some of my time has been very rewarding, and a little of it a waste of my life.

I had a slight downside though. One June 29 202X, on a Thursday, I woke up feeling like someone pounded my hips and shoulders with a sledge hammer. The pain became so bad, I resorted to CBD Cream, which was a literal lifesaver. I never wish that much pain on anyone. It took almost five months before I felt relatively pain free. Turns out it was a reaction to a common medication.

During those days of pain, and today, as I reflect on my day and pray before sleep, I stole a a line from Desmond Doss: "Just one more." Desmond Doss was awarded the Medal Of Honor for Bravery. He did not carry a weapon, Desmond Doss was a medic in World War II. You can read about Desmond Doss here, or if you can find it, watch the movie, Hacksaw Ridge.

Not that I will ever be on the the same level as Desmond Doss, though many nights I go to sleep thinking there must be something good I can do for another person. I find many things are easy to do. Smile and say hello, Hold the door open for someone, pick up some trash on the ground and put it in a waste can, by toys from the second hand store and leave it on a kid's doorstep whose family's money has bigger priorities. 

I leave bags of food and such in front of the local church where people more needy than myself walk by. I put a not inside, urging them to spend a few minutes with a quiet mind and listen for the voice of God to speak to them. It takes some time to do this, because it takes time to learn how to quiet our mind. What you hear (for me at least) is the impression of a word or two, not a sentence. I hope they do better.

I hope all these little things add up, and I manage to make someone's day better. Telling a young Mom, she is Mother of the month because she takes time for her child no matter where she is at. Thank a Vet for his service, acknowledging the importance of his/her contribution.  The idea of making someones day a little better, because someone helped them, acknowledged them, or fed them for a few days may encourage them to pass it on, and think, "Just one more"...

Safe Pain Relief Post Statin's

 I am not a Doctor, and this is not medical advice. It is a story about myself and severe head to toe pain. It ends with how I found resolution. Perhaps if you are one of the many older adults experiencing muscle and joint pain you write off to being, "old", this may lead you to search for new ideas and less pain.

For me, it started more than a decade ago with a family of medicines generally known as Statins. There were four different Statins that I was aware of. This may have changed by now. The first Statin I was prescribed made me almost immediately sick with an upset stomach and cramping.

I was given a second Statin. This second Statin lasted two days before the same ending took place. Ditto for the third. The final Statin had a lifespan in my body of over a decade. The supplement COQ10 was also suggested for muscle and joint pain relief from Statins, which at the time I did not seem have, but I took it as a precaution. 

Everything was good until it was not. My newest Doctor did not like the COQ10 formula and another supplement I was taking recommended years earlier by a former doctor, and I was sent to a supplement specialist Doctor.

This Doctor pointed out two of the supplements I was taking were unhealthy for me and other many people in general. They specifically said the COQ10 I was taking had Vitamin e as its carrier oil. COQ10 is absorbed better with fat at the time of taking. Vitamin e, is now thought not to be so healthy for people with a good diet.

I found the brand of COQ10 they suggested. It had no oil, and the recommended dose was 100 milligrams a day. After the first bottle ran out, I quit as it seemed to be doing nothing. Life went on as normal for a year or so until I woke in severe, (months long) muscle and joint pain.

It took two months of Doctors research and opinion, for a determination to be made: I am allergic to Statins and can no longer take them. Within a few weeks, I had less pain. That was not little enough pain to be excited about, but I thought I could live with it. As time went by, the pain continued, and my hands started hurting, both joint and muscle.

It was getting difficult to make a fist, as I noticed my hands swelling for no reason. Every day all major muscles in my body felt as if I had done a serious whole body work out the day before. Everything hurt, and no matter the day, the feeling was the same.

I needed and wanted pain relief. I thought about my time with Statins long and hard and my prior Doctor who had suggested I take COQ10 which didn't seem to do much of anything. I decided to start reading again about COQ10 as years had now passed and knowledge grows. 

I now read COQ10 is an antioxidant. It is made by almost every cell in our body. However some people )as we age) need more than our bodies produce. A safe dose is thought to be up to 1200 mg daily per my reading (not fact). That was a lot higher than the 100 mg a day I was taking.

I went out and found a bottle of COQ10 that had no vitamin e (also called wheat oil). The first day I took 800 mgs. The next day I woke up and some muscles did not hurt as bad. Rinse and repeat. The pain was going away, and my muscles now feel like they are waking from a long sleep. In the moment 800 mgs of COQ10 is working for me.

Whether my pain is from so many years of Statins wreaking havoc on my body, or another unknown cause (age?), COQ10 seems to be the magic bullet for pain reduction and relief. All my pain has diminished to very minor with more improvement every day.

I don't know where the line is drawn for pain reduction, but such a common supplement is doing wonders for me.

The Hippie Movement Meant to Make the World a Better Place

As I grow older, it I notice subtle signs we have made some progress towards making society better for all people. It's also apparent that making the society we want to have is not going to happen.

The Hippie movement of the Sixties was the last major movement to remake society into something better. The Hippie movement had a lifespan of about ten years more or less before it collapsed onto itself with the help of both internal and external forces.

As with other attempts at improving the world, the Communes of the Hippies became uncontrollable when the commune population went past a hundred or so people.

Until recently I would wonder why people in my neighborhood/city/state/country are not respectful of others once they leave their immediate neighborhoods. 

Now I know it is Human nature. I used to be angry about, but now I reflect on religion. God before Jesus could not make people good citizens. Jesus has had a better impact, but progress is at a trickle, and subject to backsliding on a whim.

I believe the best we can hope for is for each of us to do our best, be our best, and hopefully leave the world better than we found it. 

Little Things We Take For Granted - Like Grief and Selfishness

 

I turn my phone's ringer off at night. I figure if anyone calls me early, it's not going to be good news, and there is little I can do about any bad news except listen.

Today was one of those bad news days. There was a missed call from a neighbor. I called back and there was no answer. They called back an hour or so later, and told me another neighbor, who is my closest neighbor as a friend was taken away by ambulance this morning. It was their understanding from what they heard and thought they saw, that my friend/neighbor passed.

Can you say, sledge hammer? That's how it felt. I knew this neighbors health was not the greatest, they were having some serious issues, but I spoke with them two nights earlier and they looked healthier than they had in a long while.

My first thought was what do I do? What in 2026 do we do when we get news like this? I went outside, and the neighbor in question's house had the front room curtains closed, no lights on, and their car in the driveway.

As I went over possibilities. This is what I decided. My neighbor really did pass because the house is closed up, and no one is home. The widowed spouse has family in town, so the spouse is with family somewhere in town, in mourning. I have no idea what to do....

By late afternoon, I decided sending a text message to my friend was the best I could do an unobtrusive way to get involved. 

I worded it as carefully as I could in the moment. ...I heard there was an ambulance at your house this morning. That is not good news. If you need anything, a ride, help with your flowers, your pets, or a ride, please let me know....I did not expect a quick answer.

Within a few minutes, I received a text reply from my friend/neighbor telling me they were okay. They had a problem recurrence and decided the best thing to do was an ambulance ride to the hospital. They were released in the afternoon, and are at home on bed rest.

How do you spell relief? I spell it with that reply text!

At my age, and a male, real friends are few and far between. I always felt honored by having this person so close to me in the neighborhood. We trade comments on cats and other animals, and talk about those things only old people find interesting.

Before the reply text, I was worried about the spouse, the probable future sale of their house, and how to pay proper respect to my friend and his spouse in the passing.

I also selfishly felt sad for myself. One less friend to share minor parts of my life with. It was feeling like a gap that was only going to get wider had happened. Another one bites the dust...

Going forward, I know now, our time is limited. But even though the conversations won't change, I believe we both will have them with a little more after thought reverence, if you know what I mean. We have both lived long enough that tomorrow is no guarantee.

It is so odd, years ago, there was no doubt how things were done in this and other serious situations. Today, it is not as clear what to do and how to do it.