Little Things We Take For Granted - Like Grief and Selfishness

 

I turn my phone's ringer off at night. I figure if anyone calls me early, it's not going to be good news, and there is little I can do about any bad news except listen.

Today was one of those bad news days. There was a missed call from a neighbor. I called back and there was no answer. They called back an hour or so later, and told me another neighbor, who is my closest neighbor as a friend was taken away by ambulance this morning. It was their understanding from what they heard and thought they saw, that my friend/neighbor passed.

Can you say, sledge hammer? That's how it felt. I knew this neighbors health was not the greatest, they were having some serious issues, but I spoke with them two nights earlier and they looked healthier than they had in a long while.

My first thought was what do I do? What in 2026 do we do when we get news like this? I went outside, and the neighbor in question's house had the front room curtains closed, no lights on, and their car in the driveway.

As I went over possibilities. This is what I decided. My neighbor really did pass because the house is closed up, and no one is home. The widowed spouse has family in town, so the spouse is with family somewhere in town, in mourning. I have no idea what to do....

By late afternoon, I decided sending a text message to my friend was the best I could do an unobtrusive way to get involved. 

I worded it as carefully as I could in the moment. ...I heard there was an ambulance at your house this morning. That is not good news. If you need anything, a ride, help with your flowers, your pets, or a ride, please let me know....I did not expect a quick answer.

Within a few minutes, I received a text reply from my friend/neighbor telling me they were okay. They had a problem recurrence and decided the best thing to do was an ambulance ride to the hospital. They were released in the afternoon, and are at home on bed rest.

How do you spell relief? I spell it with that reply text!

At my age, and a male, real friends are few and far between. I always felt honored by having this person so close to me in the neighborhood. We trade comments on cats and other animals, and talk about those things only old people find interesting.

Before the reply text, I was worried about the spouse, the probable future sale of their house, and how to pay proper respect to my friend and his spouse in the passing.

I also selfishly felt sad for myself. One less friend to share minor parts of my life with. It was feeling like a gap that was only going to get wider had happened. Another one bites the dust...

Going forward, I know now, our time is limited. But even though the conversations won't change, I believe we both will have them with a little more after thought reverence, if you know what I mean. We have both lived long enough that tomorrow is no guarantee.

It is so odd, years ago, there was no doubt how things were done in this and other serious situations. Today, it is not as clear what to do and how to do it.

Boomer Really Looks at Gen Z, and Likes What He Sees

Inter-generational friction for me started with the Millennial's.  Lately it was focused on Gen Z. I am a Boomer. We Boomers dropped in and did not tune out. We Boomers were the generation that shut down 'the' [Vietnam] War. We figured out the Communist Domino Theory was a lie, much to the fear and consternation of our elders.

We Boomers fixed Racial Inequality. We demonstrated so Women and Minorities had Equal Rights. We had the first oil crisis, Bay of Pigs, and Nukes. We had, "the pill" and we knew how to use it. We burned the Bra.

We didn't sit down, and we didn't shut up. We questioned authority. We broke many of the 'older' generation's taboos. We had the first female Rock Star, first female serial Bank Robber. We invented and ingested LSD, imported Cocaine and used a lot of it. We had a lot of firsts. Some good, many not so much.

We were taught that once you hit the age of eighteen, you found a job, and started planning on how soon you could move out of the house. Preferably within a few months. We were: a free love dove generation, ingesting mass quantities of liquor and drugs - as we learned to from our parents. We were loyal, working dead end jobs for crap pay. That's what we were taught to do. Unlearning was mostly unheard of.

We married and had kids, God help them. In my forties, I started to expand my world view, which was slipping in through the cracks and slats of my awareness. I saw subtle and not so subtle hints that we, the Boomers, did not really do all that much to change the world for the better. We could and should have done a lot more.

Now, past sixty, it is obvious that as a generation, we were very naive as to what we could and could not accomplish. We put out some small fires and solved a few issues (got rid of the [military] draft, for one) but the paranoid out of touch, scared, decrepit political engine kept stirring the pot ensuring old fires started up again and other fires grew larger.

All in all I am disappointed with what we did accomplish verses what I thought we accomplished. I had blinders on, it was difficult to see our countries general reality. That is not to say, we were worthless. We did make many changes, and I am proud of those changes. But my world was not really all that rosy as you will read later.

Our Kids, what the heck? Only interested in money, little public opinion, distant, indifferent to government. Distant to the extent that their kids (Gen Z) were mostly self raised. Keep Tommy and Kathy busy. Throw more money at them. Don't bother spending actual time with them. Let them learn independence by growing up mostly alone and distant. Throw more electronics at them so parents could be even more distant and aloof.

Which brings me to Gen Z. What a wreck Gen Z is, lazy, unmotivated, happy living in the basement, socially crippled. Or so it seems, reading the stories published from far right side of Boomer Mountain. Old scared, paranoid people who make it sound like the world is going to hell in a hand basket (the one they created and nurture of course).

I let go of public Gen Z commentary, and my myopic sliver of it. Just like us Boomers, I find most of Gen Z has ambition. Lots of ambition. They want to and do work. Most of them are working as hard as we Boomers did. 

Gen Z is not blind and overly loyal to foolish, outdated, common ideals. Comments that are repeated like gospel are, Gen Z is lazy and living in their parents basement. Some of us Boomers walked out on their pregnant girlfriends and after the babies were born, other Boomers moved in with them and leached off of them, living on the States dime (welfare), slinking away and hiding during home inspections. No beer for you!

We Boomers wasted our money on frivolous things. Boomers spent money on sex, drugs and rock and roll and muscle cars. Some Boomer's of course were taught to be greedy and/or racist. Many Boomers were blue collar, economically ignorant, and indifferent to their plight. That's how it always is...

Now with opened eyes, having moved down the hill from Boomer Mountain, I have made comparisons of our respective generations. One thing is clear, Gen Z is not willing to work itself to death for starvation wages. A job is only a job, and life balance is more important. Gen Z also learns from the Internet, as needed.

Gen Z is willing to put off some personal gratification/satisfaction until a later date, and most importantly, it appears Gen Z is not generally in favor of drinking and drugs. Finally, unlike the parents of us Boomers and our kids, children are precious and not something you have just because you got married at a stupid young age, made nuclear family, and spent the next decades regretting it.

I can hardly wait until Gen Z starts flexing its political muscle. I am curious what changes they will set in place once the old paranoid, scared people making today's polarizing policies are out of the picture.

Why We Diet, Exercise, Learn, and Try

 

I was thinking this morning about all that 'formal' exercise I have done all my life, and why I did all that exercise. That led me to think about the lifestyle changes I made in my twenties and thirties, as I realized as I went along each day, what I was doing was not that healthy. 

- - It is hard to break away from the pack. Everyone wants you to be like they are. People are resistant to change. Especially when they watch someone else change and they do not want to.

I thought about who I did all that exercise for. It was not for me in the moment, as I was doing the exercise without any real kind of work. I mean I strained and sweated, and occasionally had some sore muscles, but it was not the back breaking work that some people were doing just to survive another day.

I am free rolling now. Why have I been so curious all my life? Why did I take college courses? Why am I fascinated by body, health and lifestyle discoveries that show up in books, magazines and web pages? Why do I read really boring articles in some really boring magazines?

What is the purpose of all this? Why do I do it? No one I know wants to hear about it. There was nothing to be gained from climbing out of bed in my thirties and doing my little exercise routine and then going jogging. I did those things every other day, and I did not improve my exercise and running skills. But I never really thought about why I did those things.

Until this morning that is. It is a few minutes after seven and the sun is shining. I fell asleep sometime after two last night, and I woke up a little after five. I'll probably take a nap again today. Such is the life of old.

But I also did some other things. In these early hours, I have done some interesting reading, worked on some puzzles, and had something to eat. Later on I will do my little 2023 exercise routine, which is vastly different from my 1980, 1990, 2000, and my 2010 exercise routines.

I am a firm believer in the phrase, "Use it or lose it". It was not until this morning however that complete understanding of this little phrase made it into my conscious mind.

Everything diet, exercise and health related I have done in my life was not for me in the moment. Not even for me in the next week or the next month. All the goofy things I tried to improve myself with, all the diet information I read, tried and sometimes failed at, all the other things were not for me in the moment. 

I realize this morning, I did all those thing for me right now in 2023. More importantly they were for my future me. I grew up watching family members and other adults drink and smoke themselves into an early grave. I watched as people decide they are 'old' because they are 40, 50, 60, or seventy. I made decision after decision I was not going to be one of those people. 

I spent the early years of my life doing these things because I wanted a full, happy, and productive life. Today I know it was not for me then, but for a future me. I am not through yet, there is a lot more future me to come.

There is more future me out there waiting to be realized. And because I am old, I see the sad results others have made of not taking care of themselves for their future selves. We all have some limitations in our life, health and otherwise. Until we die, we have a future.

It is our obligation to minimize our limitations and maximize ourselves, because we must be ready to become our future selves. I notice in the moment, thinking about what version I want for my future self, is exhilarating. I am motivated to do those things I can do today for the benefit of my future self tomorrow. How about you?

Someone's In My Head, and it's Not Me

 

Sometimes, a thought appears in my head that I did not conceive. I like to think it comes from an Angelic source sent on a mission, but like everything else, beauty, or in this case the source of these thoughts, is in the eye of the beholder. The thoughts that appear in my mind are always of a positive nature, always directed toward strangers,  and not meant for me other than acting them out. At times there is a voice with the thought, always a male voice. Once in a great while, there is a two way conversation about the, ‘thought’.

An example of a two way conversation happened a few weeks ago. I was wondering why, when I play poker I am not luckier when it comes to being dealt more playable hands? I know I am a solid player, and for the most part I play well. My thinking in my head is, ‘why do I spend an hour at a time completely card dead, get dealt one winning hand and go back to being completely card dead’?

Suddenly, my thinking is interrupted by the ‘Voice’ in my head. The Voice asks me, “Why should you be dealt more playable hands?” It was spoken in a non-committal, level voice. A very good question I thought, why should I be dealt more….

After thinking about it, I reply, to start with I believe I am a good person. I rarely intentionally do anything that would hurt another person, either emotionally or physically. I like to think I am a generous person. I do those things a generous person would do. A portion of my winnings always go improving someones lot in life, though temporarily. There was a response in the form of a small chuckle, but no other reply.

Today, there are five of us out for lunch. One of the the five is a notoriously cheap person, (NCP). They take out their calculator to determine the precise tip, and adjust from their answer using their perception of the quality of the meal and service they received, generally down. The other three are fairly normal people and I am the fifth person. I am paying for three of us.

As we sit waiting for our food, a table next to us is cleared, and three “First Responders” are seated at the table. I am in conversation with our group paying no further attention to them. Then, almost like squeezing toothpaste out of the tube, a thought forms in my mind, “You should buy their lunch.”  Out of nowhere I can see these words in my mind as if they are written in black ink on white paper, ‘...You should buy their lunch...’.

Because I trust this whatever it is that plants these ideas in my mind and the occasional voice that goes with it, I tell the Waiter, I wish to pay for the Three Responders lunch, but please do not tell them I bought their lunch. He brings me their check and says our secret is safe. After a few minutes I go to the cashier, pay their bill, and return to the table.

We are eating our meal, and suddenly one of the First Responders is standing by me with his hand out. He says, “Thank you very much for buying our lunch, we really appreciate it”. Of course I am caught completely by surprise, and mumble something to the effect that, ‘I really appreciate what you do, and how important it is’. All true, but poorly stated. He leaves and the other two First Responders walk buy mouthing their appreciation for what I did for them too. So much for Secret Santa buying someones lunch.

As we get up to leave, one of my group who saw the interaction asks me what that was all about, and why was he shaking my hand? I explained what I did as we walked to the cashier. The bill was all one check, as the Waiter said the Cashier would split it up for us. My brain was suddenly fogged up, and it was very difficult to come up with my share of the bill, starting with the entrees.  I mumbled to the Cashier what items I was paying for (meals for three of us), but forgot to add my coffee, and an Iced Tea. I pay, get my change and step back.

Behind me, NCP tells the Cashier what they were paying for. The Cashier asks, “And the coffee?”. NCP looks at me, and states, “I am not paying for your coffee.” I  pull out four dollars for the coffee, and give it to NCP. They pay their bill, plus my coffee, and pocket the (my) change.

The third person shows up to pay their portion and was asked, “And the Iced Tea?” Oh oh. Man, my brain is asleep, what is going on! Forgetting my coffee and the iced tea, when the rest had water and I am looking right at the bill? However, they generously insisted on paying for the Iced Tea I was supposed to pay for. I am feeling pretty sheepish in the moment. And generally stupid. What is going on with my brain?

Now, the interesting part of this story is happens. NCP, who refused to pay for my coffee is told by the Person who paid for the iced tea what I had done, buying lunch for the three First Responders, and saying, “Why don’t I ever think of doing that?”

It did not dawn on me until an hour or so later, the whole scenario was manifested and directed by the voice in my head as a lesson for the NCP, who was told right after refusing to pay for my coffee, that I had paid for the three First Responders meals. I am now curious if they get the not so subtle hint to be a little more generous?

I find this whole situation fascinating. I like to think the voice in my head is an Angel or something like it. It is always a too random an occurrence, and something I am not thinking about, when it happens. It is usually something I never or rarely do, so I know it is not invented and directed by me. In this story as usual, I play a major character in a short skit, not of my creation.

I do hope this happens to other people, and they follow through on these thoughts too. It would be sad to think I am the only person aware of this happening, and going along with what is suggested. It seems to make the world a much better place.

FWIW, nothing has changed with my poker playing cycle of cards.

Do Fear Based Drug Billboards Accomplish Anything Positive?

If you are not addicted to chemicals, do you really want to see billboards like this?

Unless you work for the, "Drug Enforcement Agency", and want to drum up business to keep your paycheck coming, what is their purpose?

These billboards are mostly pointless. These billboards are not educational, they serve no uplifting purpose. Do you really wish to see these billboards or can you get through your day live without seeing them?

Let's put our Tax Dollars to better use. Let you Legislatures know how you feel.

Tuna Salad Sandwich Hack

This is a simple little hack to help you make your next batch of Tuna Salad fast and easy.

If you are like me, when making Tuna Salad, you open a can of Tuna and dump it into a bowl. Then you take a fork, spoon, whatever your favorite utensil is and mash it up. Then add your favorite ingredients.

An easier way, to prepare the Tuna Fish is this:

1. Open and drain your favorite can of Tuna Fish.

2. Using a butter knife cut the Tuna Fish in the can as if you were slicing a small cake into many square pieces.

2. Use the the knife to scoop out the Tuna into a bowl. Almost all the Tuna has been cut and crumbled into small pieces, saving you time and frustration.

3. Add your favorite ingredients for the fastest and easiest Tuna Salad you have made all week. Enjoy!

Underfunded and Outgunned by the Bealer Boys

 It's hard playing poker against the Bealer Boys. I played against them for a second time this weekend. The game is $1 - $3 No Limit. The Small Blind is $1 and the Large Blind is $3. Buy-in is $100 - $300 or half the largest stack on the table. Easy Game.

Except when you sit down with the Bealer boys. The Brush calls you to a table and you realize if you took out all the hundred dollar bills in your wallet and both pockets, you still would not have enough to buy in at half the largest stack on the table for this game.

Tonight is a prime example. I sit down with John Bealer on my right. Now, I am not sure how long John Bealer was been playing today, but he has roughly $2,400 in $5 and $25 chips (red and green) in front of him. So much for the $300 max buy-in. So much for buying in for half the largest stack.

In the moment, I wonder if its even worth sitting down at the table. But these are the Bealer Boys, and it doesn't look and feel right to stand up and walk away. I may not have much of a poker image, but it is important to maintain what little image I do have as a poker player.

There is this extra natty little thing called the "Straddle", which at this table is done on the button by all players, except me. The Straddle is a Preflop raise on the button, effectively raising the first bet from $3 to $6, starting with the small blind.

To make matters worse, the smallest stack among the Bealer Boys is a little over $1,200. Preflop betting is generally $20 to $35, or roughly a little less than ten percent of my buy-in. This makes the price of poker pretty steep for me, just to see a flop.

One would expect with high $ Preflop betting, there would only be a few players in the pot. No, not when playing with the Bealer Boys. The game is loose. Except for me, everyone is loaded up and hunting for bear. Preflop pots were running $100 and over. Flop and turn bets are moderate considering, as the table is so loose.

Three rounds in and I have only paid my blinds, throwing away junk and playable hands (in a normal game) alike. I am wondering about the sanity of my judgment to sit at this table. This is a $1 - $3 table converted into $6 - $12 by the Bealer Boys, with their excessively large stacks. Any hand I may enter, any one of them could put me all in preflop, just for laughs.

After about ninety minutes of throwing away hands and watching pots dragged in by pitiful holdings, I finally get a hand. I have Q,Q in late position. When the play gets to me, it's $35 to see the flop; with three players in the pot before me, I call the $35.

Flop is Ks, 8d, 3h. Good flop for me. First player checks, second to act, Billy Bealer puts out $105. A strange bet I think. I've played with Billy Bealer before and he is generally a straight forward player with little bluffing in his bag of tricks. After contemplating a few seconds, I put Billy Bealer on K,K or better, which makes my Q,Q look smaller than it did a few seconds before the flop. I fold, last to act folds.

I'm down about 25% of my buy-in, or just a little over $100 now. I can see the end in sight and it's not pretty. I will be all in on my next hand, if there is a next hand on the way.

Enjoyment is turning into agony. I lament all the hands I would have played, if it was a normal $1 - $3 game and not a high stakes franken-game. I am in small blind and miracle of miracles, there was not a button straddle. I am second to last to act. By some freak of nature, it is only $20 to see the flop.

I have two red aces. It's decision time. I think if I raise preflop, it will be reraised, and I will be all in on the flop. If I call the $20 and the Big Blind doesn't raise, I am first to act on the flop. 

I call the $20 and Big Blind does not raise. Flop comes down 4, 4, 8, rainbow (all different suits). This is a pretty useless flop for anyone not holding a 4. I think for a few seconds and make a large almost pot size bet. Billy Bealer should be proud.

As it's one of a handful of hands I have bet with in two hours and one of the few I played beyond the flop, the Bealer Boys all fold to me. I play a few more hands and retired for the night.

In retrospect - which is more rational than 'in the moment', I never should have sat down in that game, when all I was willing to buy-in for was maybe less than 1/3 the smallest stack, and perhaps a large bet for the largest two stacks.

On a side note, John Bealer went up $2,400 in those few hours. It all came from three players with more cash and less common sense than I have. Billy Bealer went up about $700, and went back down. As for me, I made a two dollar profit. I think that was a 'gimme' by the Bealer Boys. Next Hand...