It is Free, Something is Wrong With It

Or, "It is free, what is the catch?" I am shopping at a local hardware store about two miles away to buy garden hose washers. While I am there I notice a young couple looking at a wheelbarrow, but not looking like they want to pay that much for it.

I walk up to them and say, “I have an old one and it is free if you want it. I bought it used three years ago. I used it for one small project, and its been sitting since then…. The wheel on it is a little to small, so you either have to bend over a bit or drag it….You can’t put too much in it at a time, but for a small job it works fine.”

“We only have a small job too.”

“Can we pay you for it?” 

“No, I bought it for $10.00 and more than got my use out of it, you can have it for free. Here is my address…..”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, and if it does not work for you, you can come back and buy this one. I’ll be home in about twenty minutes or less.”

Two hours later and no young couple. 

I take a half sheet of paper and write on it, “Donation or Free”.

I take the wheelbarrow to the curb and tape the sign on it.

Less than ten minutes later it is gone. I do not live on a busy street.

Disappearing People

 

Disappearing People and Disappearing Things happen more often than we like to think about, and more often than we probably notice. Our brain only processes things that are important to us. Where to place our foot for the next stair step, a dog approaching, and so on.

People suddenly disappearing has happened to me over the years, usually walking in the city or in neighborhoods. Once when I was in England on an old country road, it happened in the middle of a large mustard field.

I was driving on a class C road, which was sunken about eight feet into the earth as these small roads sometimes are in that part of the country. 

A middle aged woman in a dark dress, bonnet and shoes  was peddling along on her bicycle with grocery bags in her back basket about thirty yards in front of me. Class C roads are too narrow to safely pass on. I was in no hurry, so I followed along behind her. We were going up a slight hill. 

She crested the peak of the hill, went over and out of sight. I crested the hill - and she was gone! I'm driving in the middle of a mustard field with the banks of the field  six to eight feet above me on each side of the road, and she has disappears! I stop and look around and there was nowhere for her to have gone to. She, her groceries, and bicycle vaporized into thin air.

A few months back, I exited a building and was walking down a curving cement walkway on a small hillside to the parking lot across the street. There was a hard right turn about the halfway down the hill, like a mountain trail switchback. The switchback was about about forty feet away from the street.

An older man dressed like a farmer was walking about twelve feet was walking in front of me. He had grey hair, wore a feed store baseball cap, worn jean jacket, tired, baggy jeans, and old brown work boots. I followed him for about for about fifteen seconds with both of us walking at the same speed. I walking slower than normal to keep a distance between us of about fifteen feet or so (COVID).

He walked like he had or maybe still milked cows. You need to be around farmers who own a small farm with milk cows to understand how they walk. They almost walk like Post-Men of old who carried heavy mail bags of mail on one shoulder as they walked the sidewalk of their route. Sort of a bowlegged hobble-walk.

The old farmer turned at the downhill right turn of the sidewalk switchback, and continued walking out of my line of sight. I was still maybe ten steps behind him. The switchback was such, that we never made eye contact and I never saw his face, nor he my face.

I made the turn, and he was gone! The Old Farmer had disappeared into thin air! The closest hiding spot were moving cars over forty feet away on the road. Him hiding is a silly idea, but the only obvious  explanation. Yet, disappeared he was! As I walked on, he was gone and not hiding.

Another time walking across the sidewalk of a town square, two teenage girls were walking towards me and suddenly transformed into gaunt starving werewolves. They walked about four steps and then vanished in mid stride from the sidewalk! One Mom almost ripped her daughter's arm off pulling her back from the apparitions. Other people walking behind them also saw them and saw them disappear. We asked each other for conformation of what we saw, and we all saw the same thing, though no one was sure exactly what those 'things' were.

I rarely notice 'things' that may appear and then disappear. There may be things popping out from nowhere and other things disappearing, but my brain decides they are not important.

Sometimes driving on rural roads, it seems cars appear and vanish in a totally random manner. Imagine  have been driving along with a blue car following you for the last twenty minutes on a rural highway. Suddenly it is not there, even though there was no road for it to turn off on. These things and other events seem to happen and usually we are not even aware of them happening. 

I am sure almost everyone has had these experiences, though we never talk about them. I first experienced this happening as a kid. Back then I thought it was normal. As I grow older I realize if it is normal, it is secret normal.

Surreal Choice, Real Life Decision

I was five years old, going down the stairs, then out the door to meet my friends when she appeared. If I had known the word, I would have called her an apparition or illusion. How can a very tall woman, stand in the door, above the door and in the wall, and make it look normal?

I immediately knew who she was, yet I did not know who she was. She was dressed in a brown pants suit with thin, vertical, darker brown stripes and a brown hat. She had brown hair and kind of a housewife appearance, though I knew she was not a housewife. She was not someone to trifle with, if for no other reason than her sudden appearance scaring the heck out of me. To this day I do not remember her eye color or if she wore nail polish or not. She did have a purse of brown leather and brown shoes.

Her voice was stern. "Well", she said, "are you going to do it or not?" As I did not have a thought in my head other than finding some friends outside to play with, it was not obvious to my child’s mind what her question meant. I did know by the tone of her voice, that this was a very serious question and my answer should be carefully thought over.

She repeated, "Are you going to do it?" It was the most awkward thing, trying to come up with an answer when there is only fog surrounding the question and a blank for an answer. I found myself thinking back to an earlier time, before I was here, before I was born.

I was an adult somewhere standing around with a few other people,  talking about what was next for all of us. I declared I was going to create a technology that would change the world in unimaginable ways. It would be the greatest gift for mankind ever known. Someone asked if I was sure. Of course I am sure. Now, I am here in this world, a child being asked if I am sure?

I was barely enough to know that two and two equals four, and here I was being asked a question I didn't really understand. It wasn't even a thought until this moment when she asked her question. Me standing on the third stair from the floor, my descent blocked by this woman who simply appeared and blocked the way.

I knew I had to give her an answer and what ever answer I gave her was binding. In this moment I had a choice. After my answer, there would no longer be a choice. It took no more than a few seconds, but took decision making to a level that was beyond abstract for a child's mind, to put it simply.

"No", I said, "I am not going to do it."

I arrived at this answer by thinking of everything I knew about modern technology and what we (mankind) has done with it. Everything firstly had been used for the destruction of other Humans in one way or another. I was not going to be part of a perpetual world killing machine.

She stared down at me, and asked if I was sure. "No, I am not going to do it." "Very well, your life plan is erased." In an instant she was gone.

More than six decades later, I can still visualize the scene. This giant Woman standing where it was impossible to stand. Blocking my exit and demanding an answer to a question that had no meaning until that moment, when a before being born memory came flooding in from a place I could not remember being at, talking about something I did not until that moment remember.

My decision on that spring morning changed my life in ways lives are rarely changed. My life path was erased. My only direction my life was the direction I applied it to each day. It was akin to a sail boat with no rudder. I listened to other kids tell me what they were going to be when they grew up. I felt as if I only had two vague choices for my life, do good or do something else.

Now I am still at peace with my decision. I could not have lived with the guilt and horror I may have brought to this world, and the people that would have died as a result of my trying to do improve the world.

Surreal as it seems, this was an event that fashioned my life in ways I never could have imagined. I have the freedom to follow whatever life direction, randomness and chance send my way. Mine has been a difficult, frustrating yet liberating life. Made possible, by an event that perhaps did not exist.

Life Dreams to Life Reality

We are "Captains" of our own ship. When we are children we start to visualize leaving the safety of the harbor and moving out to sea to unknown destinations. As we grow, our dream of moving out into the world becomes more defined. We start to define our life.

We learn the basic skills we need to learn to get through our early years and teen years. We want to be a Fireman, Policeman, Doctor, Lawyer, Mom or Dad. We want to go to college, be in a band, and live on Mars. We are going to get married, adventure, live in the woods alone. We contemplate many future lives.

Our world does not immediately start to change every time we change our mind. When we are young and in school, this is okay. Being young and in school is the time of life when we are supposed to be trying new things and exploring new dreams. When we hit our late teens to twenties, things become more serious. We start to distill our dreams into our life.

Current life choices and decisions sometimes get in the way of what we think we want. What your parents have done with their life may be the first big obstacle to overcome. We start to align our dreams to our future life goals.

Being part of a circus and being an Internet star at the same time are extreme contrasts. These both may be achievable, but each takes its own energy and planning to be successful. One of these dreams may need to defer to the other. Dream and life disparity creates muddled results.

We often modify our expectations as we grow. Our dreams start converging with our life path. Going to and graduating from college to found our own business is an goal of converging dreams. Changing what we want sometimes leads to confusion and frustration. We are focusing on and clarifying our future life.

You decide to go to college. When you enter college, you are required to take almost two years of basic classes whether you have an interest in those subjects or not. The reason for this is two fold. First, you are exposed to different areas of areas of life. Psychology, Biology, Math, English and Foreign Language are all part of life. You gain a broader view of your future possibilities.

One day you wake up to an epiphany. You want to become the owner of a non-profit. The world of capitalism, you decide is not for you. You have found a more important direction for your life. But college is all about capitalism. That is how college is built. You are now in a dream/life conflict.

You are going to find some speed bumps in your road, and you may be detoured from your dreams for a time. Your world starts making the changes you want to help make your dreams happen. Your classes are now a two edged sword. How do you take what you are learning, apply it to what you want, and make it work? Do all parts of your dream future fit together cohesively?

When it comes to your dreams, there are a couple of key truths. The longer you hold onto your biggest dream, and apply yourself to it, the more your world changes to make it happen. You cannot expect your world to stop and change course every time you change your mind. What has been done to create your present life will run its course. Be ready for bumps in the road while you focus on making your newest dreams align with your life.

Depending on how focused you are and how you apply yourself, change may be quick. Immediate drastic change will force you to make hard decisions. Align your dreams, follow your goals and you will get there. You can make your dreams reality, if you stay focused and help to make them happen.