I turn my phone's ringer off at night. I figure if anyone calls me early, it's not going to be good news, and there is little I can do about any bad news except listen.Today was one of those bad news days. There was a missed call from a neighbor. I called back and there was no answer. They called back an hour or so later, and told me another neighbor, who is my closest neighbor as a friend was taken away by ambulance this morning. It was their understanding from what they heard and thought they saw, that my friend/neighbor passed.
Can you say, sledge hammer? That's how it felt. I knew this neighbors health was not the greatest, they were having some serious issues, but I spoke with them two nights earlier and they looked healthier than they had in a long while.
My first thought was what do I do? What in 2026 do we do when we get news like this? I went outside, and the neighbor in question's house had the front room curtains closed, no lights on, and their car in the driveway.
As I went over possibilities. This is what I decided. My neighbor really did pass because the house is closed up, and no one is home. The widowed spouse has family in town, so the spouse is with family somewhere in town, in mourning. I have no idea what to do....
By late afternoon, I decided sending a text message to my friend was the best I could do an unobtrusive way to get involved.
I worded it as carefully as I could in the moment. ...I heard there was an ambulance at your house this morning. That is not good news. If you need anything, a ride, help with your flowers, your pets, or a ride, please let me know....I did not expect a quick answer.
Within a few minutes, I received a text reply from my friend/neighbor telling me they were okay. They had a problem recurrence and decided the best thing to do was an ambulance ride to the hospital. They were released in the afternoon, and are at home on bed rest.
How do you spell relief? I spell it with that reply text!
At my age, and a male, real friends are few and far between. I always felt honored by having this person so close to me in the neighborhood. We trade comments on cats and other animals, and talk about those things only old people find interesting.
Before the reply text, I was worried about the spouse, the probable future sale of their house, and how to pay proper respect to my friend and his spouse in the passing.
I also selfishly felt sad for myself. One less friend to share minor parts of my life with. It was feeling like a gap that was only going to get wider had happened. Another one bites the dust...
Going forward, I know now, our time is limited. But even though the conversations won't change, I believe we both will have them with a little more after thought reverence, if you know what I mean. We have both lived long enough that tomorrow is no guarantee.
It is so odd, years ago, there was no doubt how things were done in this and other serious situations. Today, it is not as clear what to do and how to do it.
