Thursday, July 27, 2023

Someone's In My Head, and it's Not Me

 

Sometimes, a thought appears in my head that I did not conceive. I like to think it comes from an Angelic source sent on a mission, but like everything else, beauty, or in this case the source of these thoughts, is in the eye of the beholder. The thoughts that appear in my mind are always of a positive nature, always directed toward strangers,  and not meant for me other than acting them out. At times there is a voice with the thought, always a male voice. Once in a great while, there is a two way conversation about the, ‘thought’.

An example of a two way conversation happened a few weeks ago. I was wondering why, when I play poker I am not luckier when it comes to being dealt more playable hands? I know I am a solid player, and for the most part I play well. My thinking in my head is, ‘why do I spend an hour at a time completely card dead, get dealt one winning hand and go back to being completely card dead’?

Suddenly, my thinking is interrupted by the ‘Voice’ in my head. The Voice asks me, “Why should you be dealt more playable hands?” It was spoken in a non-committal, level voice. A very good question I thought, why should I be dealt more….

After thinking about it, I reply, to start with I believe I am a good person. I rarely intentionally do anything that would hurt another person, either emotionally or physically. I like to think I am a generous person. I do those things a generous person would do. A portion of my winnings always go improving someones lot in life, though temporarily. There was a response in the form of a small chuckle, but no other reply.

Today, there are five of us out for lunch. One of the the five is a notoriously cheap person, (NCP). They take out their calculator to determine the precise tip, and adjust from their answer using their perception of the quality of the meal and service they received, generally down. The other three are fairly normal people and I am the fifth person. I am paying for three of us.

As we sit waiting for our food, a table next to us is cleared, and three “First Responders” are seated at the table. I am in conversation with our group paying no further attention to them. Then, almost like squeezing toothpaste out of the tube, a thought forms in my mind, “You should buy their lunch.”  Out of nowhere I can see these words in my mind as if they are written in black ink on white paper, ‘...You should buy their lunch...’.

Because I trust this whatever it is that plants these ideas in my mind and the occasional voice that goes with it, I tell the Waiter, I wish to pay for the Three Responders lunch, but please do not tell them I bought their lunch. He brings me their check and says our secret is safe. After a few minutes I go to the cashier, pay their bill, and return to the table.

We are eating our meal, and suddenly one of the First Responders is standing by me with his hand out. He says, “Thank you very much for buying our lunch, we really appreciate it”. Of course I am caught completely by surprise, and mumble something to the effect that, ‘I really appreciate what you do, and how important it is’. All true, but poorly stated. He leaves and the other two First Responders walk buy mouthing their appreciation for what I did for them too. So much for Secret Santa buying someones lunch.

As we get up to leave, one of my group who saw the interaction asks me what that was all about, and why was he shaking my hand? I explained what I did as we walked to the cashier. The bill was all one check, as the Waiter said the Cashier would split it up for us. My brain was suddenly fogged up, and it was very difficult to come up with my share of the bill, starting with the entrees.  I mumbled to the Cashier what items I was paying for (meals for three of us), but forgot to add my coffee, and an Iced Tea. I pay, get my change and step back.

Behind me, NCP tells the Cashier what they were paying for. The Cashier asks, “And the coffee?”. NCP looks at me, and states, “I am not paying for your coffee.” I  pull out four dollars for the coffee, and give it to NCP. They pay their bill, plus my coffee, and pocket the (my) change.

The third person shows up to pay their portion and was asked, “And the Iced Tea?” Oh oh. Man, my brain is asleep, what is going on! Forgetting my coffee and the iced tea, when the rest had water and I am looking right at the bill? However, they generously insisted on paying for the Iced Tea I was supposed to pay for. I am feeling pretty sheepish in the moment. And generally stupid. What is going on with my brain?

Now, the interesting part of this story is happens. NCP, who refused to pay for my coffee is told by the Person who paid for the iced tea what I had done, buying lunch for the three First Responders, and saying, “Why don’t I ever think of doing that?”

It did not dawn on me until an hour or so later, the whole scenario was manifested and directed by the voice in my head as a lesson for the NCP, who was told right after refusing to pay for my coffee, that I had paid for the three First Responders meals. I am now curious if they get the not so subtle hint to be a little more generous?

I find this whole situation fascinating. I like to think the voice in my head is an Angel or something like it. It is always a too random an occurrence, and something I am not thinking about, when it happens. It is usually something I never or rarely do, so I know it is not invented and directed by me. In this story as usual, I play a major character in a short skit, not of my creation.

I do hope this happens to other people, and they follow through on these thoughts too. It would be sad to think I am the only person aware of this happening, and going along with what is suggested. It seems to make the world a much better place.

FWIW, nothing has changed with my poker playing cycle of cards.

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